[Been doing a little house keeping on the blog lately, and I found this old column that I just had to repost for kicks and giggles 🙂 ]
In the life of a teacher, as a pregnant woman, and now a mother, I hear a lot of things that make me stop and say “Did she (or he) really just say that?!”
Some are laugh-out-loud funny, and some make me stop in my tracks with incredulity. So I will share some of the best ones with you. This will be a recurring installment whenever I have good things to share!
Apparently I am many things, but not a good spelling teacher 🙂
[However, I got a card from the same child last Christmas that said “U are the bart tetch.” So we’ve learned a little bit about vowel teams and complete sentences in a year!]
First grade girl: “Mrs. Follansbee, what are you going to name your baby?”
Me: “Well, we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet, so we have to wait and see.”
Girl: “Well, I KNOW what it is. It’s a girl. Because you’re a girl. So that just makes sense.”
Me: “Oh….that’s….interesting logic.”
Girl: “Yeah, I can always figure out if teachers are having boys or girls.”
Fridays always seem to bring out the best in my little kiddos. Today was no exception, as I took a beating for my appearance:
2nd grade girl: “Those sneakers are not really that pretty, Mrs. F. I think you can do better.”
1st grade girl: “Your hair is so curly today it looks like black olives. And you KNOW I hate those things.”
Thanks, girls! I’ll try harder on Monday!
While making photocopies today, a precocious first grader passes by and says “Baby on the way soon, eh? Man, I know how that is…”
Really?! He’s six. And a guy, no less!
I sometimes hear the best things while my kids are cutting and pasting, and get to chatting with each other. I normally try to let these conversations run their course–7 year old logic has a way of presenting itself at some point, and it’s way more funny than if I intervene.
Today I overheard this little repartee from a 7-going-on-17-year-old girl and her oblivious boy partner: “When I have kids, I want to make SURE they know that I wasn’t born in the olden days.”
Oblivious boy: “Why would you care? It’s just the olding days…”
She replies, “Well, I just CAN’T lie to my kids. I don’t want to be a liar, you know. And I DON’T want them to grow up thinking that I’m OLD!”
Oblivious boy: “Oh. Like my dad. He’s 41. They definitely hadn’t invented technology when he was a kid!”
The latest is less of a “Did she really just say that?” and more of a “Did I really just DO that?” moment.
It’s getting a little bit harder to move around school like I used to. Sitting on the carpet with the kids requires a bit more care and adjusting. And getting up from the carpet is no longer graceful, nor easy. So today, when I awkwardly tried to get up from the rug and realized I couldn’t do it on the first attempt, I swung my legs around the other way. Cue the sassy little second grader who smirks at me and says “huh. I just saw your undies.”
Note to self: must wear pants or tights every day now.
I attended my first prenatal water aerobics class this week, and had fun chatting with some pregnant moms to be. In the middle of our flutter kicks, we got talking about childbirth classes.
“Are you all taking childbirth classes at Maine Med?” The instructor asked us.
A fellow preggo answers: “Yes. Well, I am. Not so much my husband. He says I’m the one doing the labor, so why does he need to spend time learning about it? It’s not really his job.”
Beyond ‘did she really just stay that’ I was also asking myself, “Why on earth would you marry a man like THAT? Good luck honey.”
While walking through Marshalls last week, Fred and I were minding our own business looking at shoes. An older man approaches me and says–out of nowhere, ”Soooo, when’s the big day?”
I looked at him skeptically, thinking we already got married last year. What on earth was he talking about?
“You’re pregnant, right?”
Ohhhh. So this guy was taking the (foolish) risk of commenting on the small belly of a barely-showing woman. Bold move. It still looks more like I ate too much ice cream, and not like I’m obviously with child.
“Well, you’ve got a lot to look forward to….NOT.” He says, as he grumpily herded his unruly group of three children away.
Did he really just say that? Was he really foolish enough to take that risk?